Sunday, November 20, 2011

The Birth, The Life and The Death of Red. and her eventual return.

Red had a short life, born from anger fueled by hate and brought down by something different. Love.
Once upon a time lived a girl whose name was Red. She was full of somethings- hate, anger, unhappiness and a major grudge against life. Live which had led her down just like love had. Red once knew love, she gave it everything she had only to find the other person hadn't felt the same. So it ended. In the bitterness Red was born from a bottle of Smirnoff Vodka and spite.
She found herself fueled by fire and alcohol. She loved to flirt and dance when she wasn't able to drink. First was the Rebound romance it left her more angry, alone and unhappy. Followed by that was the Blink and more alcohol. Not long after that was the Pool Boy, he was fun but like the rest it only last a night. It added to Red's pain and anger.
By then Red was old enough to know a few things, love was not true, rage and hate were true. She hated herself and everything around her. She just wanted to run away by then. More and more she was disillusioned by love and men in general.
Her heart shattered one night and in an ugly event she had wished she died. Instead she held on for dear life long enough to know it had to change. The anger was getting the best of her. She would do things to not feel anything and avoided love since it had failed her before.
There had been a few moments in her life where she questioned her own intentions and at times others. She met a man once that made her question his intentions more than her own. Then she met the One that broke Red down so far she was no longer.
Red began to change, she no long felt the need to have one night stands or to hide at the bottom of a bottle of vodka. The anger began to subside, the hate began to die.
She kissed the final Mistake goodbye and she began to stand on her own. When the hangover had left her shattered and searching for the piece of the puzzle It found her. While she was planning to find herself a new life elsewhere. Maybe if she had left Red wouldn't have died the way she did. There would be no ceremony, no funeral and no last rites which was okay because she wasn't religious anyway. She simply began to fade away.
Red had met someone that brought her from the haze. He promised her nothing as he was like her love had failed him. He would be the last one to meet Red and the last one to feel her fire. And she would die in his arms.
What he did to Red in one month would be why she died. He showed her love and passion. They began to spend as much time together as they could while she expected him to be like the rest. He showed her he wasn't.
They went from friends to lovers then to in love. This is how Red would die asleep in the arms of her lover, then awaken as someone new. She would go from Red to Me. Red was no longer who i had to be. The months she lived she made many mistakes and sought answers in the arms of one night lovers or in nights of alcoholic hazes only to clear herself enough to work the next day to slip back into it when the workday ended.
She felt the anger towards her first lover since she had given him everything she couldn't take back fade. She didn't mourn the loss of her innocence since she felt she gave it to someone she loved.
Me finding the puzzle piece led to me becoming whole, i got sober and stayed where i was supposed to. The one that promised me nothing gave me everything. One day he gave me a proposal that led to a ring and from there led to the beginning of a life as Us, then came the babies. We became a family, then something was lost.
I fell apart again, devastated Red began to resurface as she was what helped me cope years before with the hurt and betrayal only this time Red did the one thing she never had before. She ran. She took the kids and left to deal with her pain. When she was able to she drank to numb herself, whatever it took to make the hurt go away. In time the hurt would heal but Red became permanent. She's a part of Me her wild side comes out at night or when a song comes on the radio she appears. Red will always love to dance and do things she shouldn't but Me as a whole crazy mess that I am. Red misses going dancing and telling strange men at bars to go to hell just so she can go home and sleep next to the one that loves her.